


WHAT ARE THOSE???

by minacciano



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Jean (mentioned) - Freeform, M/M, Mikasa (mentioned), cringy excited writing, sorry I wrote this a year ago, totally a crack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-23
Updated: 2016-12-23
Packaged: 2018-09-11 07:20:52
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,102
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8966302
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/minacciano/pseuds/minacciano
Summary: Basically that one prompt from Tumblr where Eren shouts "What are those?!?" to Levi, and gets destroyed.





	

In front of Eren, was a short man with a ghastly undercut.

 

He could tolerate that. He could also tolerate his mismatched clothes, but Eren decided to take a moment to truly contemplate that horror. Who wears yellow and brown together? And with stripes and polkadots?

 

He actually matched Eren’s toilet bowl after that one really unhealthy shit.

 

How could anyone’s style be so bad? But...there was one thing that was truly unforgivable, truly disgusting, and truly deplorable, Eren thought. The man was wearing…crocs.

 

 _What blasphemy!_ He thought to himself, and silently preached, _one must never lower oneself onto the level of wearing crocs_.

 

And the crocs were green! (It was the green that always reminded him of that one time that he drank that entire gallon of gatorade, and then proceeded to ingest another plate of guac (and chips), and then ate some more fried chicken, because who could resist that oily heart attack-inflicting excuse of a food? Then, Jean, his rude horse faced terrible excuse of a friend, punched him in the gut. Of course, Eren had just spewed vomit all over him. Seeing him covered in greenish-yellow throw-up while standing in a puddle of it hyperventilating and shouting curse words in five different languages was hilarious, after Eren had gotten through the initial pain. That wonderful food didn't taste nearly as good coming up rather than going down.)

 

He giggled to himself and opened Snapchat, ready to post the results of what he would do onto him story, for the world to see and applaud accordingly. Eren walked faster, staying about five feet behind him. He giggled to himself once more before starting recording the video. He ran forwards and jumped to a stop about three feet in front of the man. He yelled as loud of you can, “WHAT ARE THOOOOOOOSE!!!!!!!!!!!!” and gestured wildly towards the throw-up crocs.

 

When the man in front of him looked up slowly, with murderous molten silver eyes, the first thing Eren thought was…hold up, _this guy is hotter than a million suns_ , and then, _holy shit holy shit holy shit_ , _he looks really fucking angry, uh oh, I’m so dead, I’m so dead, I’m so dead_ , and then, _WHY DO I NEVER THINK ANYTHING THROUGH FUCK MY ENTIRE LIFE_! and then, _I want to leave my meager savings of ten dollars and forty-six cents to my beautiful step-sister…Mikasa, I should have listened to you. Rip_.

 

Like lightning, the back of his fist struck Eren’s nose and he groaned inwardly, my beautiful face! Once again, marred by punches. It didn't hurt that much, but ohhhh the blood. This is gonna hurt like a bitch tomorrow, Eren thought, as he dropped his phone and heard it smack the ground.

 

He felt a warm trickle of blood drop from his nose, contrasting with the cold roughness of the concrete he was knocked down into. Eren cupped his nostrils. “Wait.” Eren’s shaky voice permeated through the silence, and the man’s eyes narrow even more that Eren thought possible. “When you kill me, can you cut off my middle fingers?” “What?” Eren hears his voice, and whoa, I’d like to hear that moaning my name. And then Eren turned bright red, because dude, you are totally attracted to the person that is gonna murder your ass (but honestly, Eren would be totally be okay with that.) “Uh…I’d like to send them to Jean Kirstein? Just to tell him to fuck himself one last time? And could you tell him stay away from Mikasa?”

 

The man sighs, and an impassive expression enters his face, like a switch had been flicked. Even looked away, unable to meet the man’s eyes. “Shitty-brat,” he glared down at Eren angrily and Eren sheepishly peeked up at the man. “Fuck you.”

 

And then Eren turn even more red (and subsequently, looked away once again) because of his wonderful brain that reacted perfectly in all the right situations. The man sighs again, a weary sound that kinda makes Eren feel bad, but then Eren realized that he punched him in the face (and likely broke Eren’s nose AGAIN), and then Eren felt kinda okay. He reached a hand out and pulled Eren by his arm up to his feet surprisingly quickly. But then Eren nearly fell into his arms because damn they look beautiful (but that was only a ‘minor reason’) and also because Eren felt kinda light-headed (not from the man’s muscles, but the impact of his fist being introduced to Eren’s face.)

 

“Hi.” Eren says dumbly, still woozy. “I’m Eren.” Eren holds out the blood-stained hand and the man just stares at it and then back at Eren and then at it. By then, even Eren is smart enough to get the message and he moves back a bit, wiping his hands on the side of his jeans. Eren can see the man’s face contort, staring at what Eren had just done.

 

“What the fuck, kid.” He mutters, and then he grabs Eren by his arm as you pick up your phone and he pulls you into a nearby coffee shop. He announces, “you have to clean yourself up.” Eren thought, without sparing a second for what the man just said, _fuck fuck fuck, he’s gonna kidnap me oh no_ , but then Eren thinks about the shitty History test that he knows close to nothing about, and then he resigns himself to his fate. 

 

The man shoves Eren into the bathroom of a nearby shop. Eren catches sight of pretty strawberry blonde sitting near the counter, on her phone. She popped her head up as soon as she heard the man’s voice. Eren returns his gaze back to the man. “Uh…I’ll just take a hot chocolate?” Eren says nervously. The man scoffs a bit and he nods to the cashier.

 

“Thanks, Petra.”

 

“Sure, Levi,” she says. “It’s nice to see you around again.” Her eyes curiously scan over Eren. She paused slightly when she saw his bloody nose. “Levi…,” she chided softly. “How could you ruin such a cute little face?”

 

 _Yeah, you bitch, how could you?_ Eren wanted to say aloud, but he remembered the strong arms and the hard fist that had assaulted his face, so he decided to stay quiet. 

 

Levi sighs again. “He provoked me.” Levi offered no other explanation. Eren hurriedly pulls out his wallet, and Levi turns to amusedly to look at him. “I just punched your face in, shitty-brat,” Levi says, eyes peering intensely at him, “I think I’ll let you take advantage of my kindness this one time.”


End file.
